Losing a loved one is an incredibly difficult time in your life, and planning a funeral can add more stress when it’s the last thing you need.
There are many things to consider when planning a funeral, and it’s normal for it to feel overwhelming. To help you know where to start and what to do, we’ve outlined 12 things to consider when organising a funeral.
We hope this helps you in this difficult time.
Who Should Organise a Funeral?
The first thing to consider is who should organise the funeral. Traditionally, the immediate family of the deceased takes on this responsibility. However, this may not always be possible or practical. If the family is unable to organise the funeral, a close friend or funeral director can help with the arrangements.
If you’re reading this, it’s likely that you’ve been nominated, but just remember you don’t have to do it alone. If you have friends or family who can help handle some aspects of organising the funeral, make sure you ask!
12 Things to Consider When Organising a Funeral
The following 12 things to consider when organising a funeral are outlined in the order that you should consider them – but just remember this is only a guide.
There is no ‘right’ way to hold your loved one’s funeral. Some of these steps might not be in line with what they wanted, and that’s perfectly okay!
1. Deciding on a Date
The first step in organising a funeral is to decide on a date. This will depend on a variety of factors, including the availability of:
- A funeral director
- A cemetery or crematorium
- Family members and friends
- Transport for the deceased
It’s important to choose a date that allows enough time for family and friends to make arrangements, like applying for compassionate leave, and travel to attend the funeral. This is especially true if guests will be attending from interstate or overseas.
2. Choosing a Funeral Director
Choosing your funeral director is an important decision, as they will be responsible for, or provide guidance over most aspects of organising the funeral.
It’s important to find a funeral director who is compassionate and professional, and who understands your wishes for the funeral. They can help walk you through the process and handle the details for you, such as arranging transport and liaising with the cemetery or crematorium.
A good funeral director will take the pressure and stress off you while supporting you to plan the funeral you know your loved one would have wanted.
3. Notifying Loved Ones
Once you have decided on a date and chosen a funeral director, it’s time to notify loved ones of the funeral arrangements.
Use any form of communication you like, including:
- Phone calls
- Emails
- Social media
- Newspaper notices
Funerals are the final chance for people to say goodbye, so it can be a good idea to use multiple forms of communication to make sure everyone hears about it.
It can be a good idea to make a special effort for elderly friends or relatives who may not be very tech-savvy. For these people, we recommend you make a phone call. Bear in mind this notification could be how they learn their loved one has passed, so be prepared to receive and express condolence messages as well.
It’s also very important to include the date, time, and location of the funeral, as well as any special requests or instructions.
4. Cremation or Burial?
Now comes another very important decision to make – how your loved one will be laid to rest.
Your choices are burial or cremation, from which there will be additional decisions to make, such as choosing a burial plot or an urn.
This is often one of the more divisive decisions when organising a funeral, as loved ones may feel very strongly about one or the other.
We suggest you consider any religious or cultural customs held by the deceased, as well as any personal requests or beliefs. Ultimately, if they never gave any direction, this is a choice that you and your close friends and family will need to make.
5. Religious or Secular?
The next decision to make can be just as difficult – whether the funeral will be religious or secular. Once again, this will depend on the beliefs and preferences of the deceased.
If the funeral is religious, it’s important to involve the appropriate religious leader, representative or officiant. It may also dictate where the funeral service and burial plot is located, as different faiths and denominations will have their own churches and cemeteries.
Faiths vary widely, from Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu and Baháʼí funerals, there will be different considerations for each one. This is where a funeral director can be crucial in helping you navigate the particulars.
6. Arranging Transport
Transport is an important aspect of organising a funeral.
First, you need to plan how the deceased will be transported from the morgue to the funeral service and then the cemetery or crematorium. This can involve arranging a hearse or other vehicles, which your funeral director can handle for you.
A secondary consideration can be planning for how mourners can attend the funeral. If you have friends or relatives coming from a long way away, or if they all live close together, it can be helpful for everyone to arrange group transportation, such as limousines or buses. Elderly mourners may also need someone to transport them.
7. Choosing a Coffin, Casket or Urn
If your lost loved one is being buried, you’ll need to choose a coffin or casket. There are many options available, from traditional wooden coffins to more modern designs. It’s important to consider the wishes of the deceased and their family, as well as any budget constraints.
If the deceased is being cremated, choosing an urn for their ashes, as well as a memorial plaque if you’d like one, are also important considerations.
8. Writing a Eulogy
A eulogy is a speech given in honour of the deceased, and it’s an important part of the funeral service.
Remember, just because you’re organising the funeral doesn’t mean you have to be the one who writes or delivers the eulogy. There are no ‘right’ ways to handle the eulogy. It’s common for close family members to write it, but for someone else to deliver it.
9. Choosing the Music
You can’t underestimate how much music can affect the tone of a funeral. Music is designed to make us feel things, so choosing the right song can perfectly encapsulate who the deceased was, or create moments to reflect, laugh or cry.
Your funeral director will be able to help you choose funeral songs, and your lost loved one may have even requested that certain songs be played to commemorate them.
10. Choosing the Flowers
Flowers are a traditional part of a funeral service, and they can provide comfort and beauty during a difficult time. It’s important to choose flowers that are appropriate and meaningful, such as the deceased’s favourite flowers or colours.
Different species and colours of flowers for funerals can mean different things, and you can really create a special look with the right flower arrangements.
11. Organising the Wake
After the funeral service, a wake can be a great way to celebrate the life of the deceased with all their friends and family gathered together.
These are often held at a venue, perhaps the deceased’s favourite pub or restaurant, but there are no hard and fast rules here. You can hold the wake at a:
- Family home
- Community hall
- Park or beach
- Any other venue that would be special
Just remember to consider the number of attendees and any catering or other arrangements that may be needed.
12. Saying Goodbye
You’ve finally arrived at the end of the funeral organising process. Now you just need to say goodbye.
The final farewell is one of the most difficult things you’ll ever have to do, so it’s important to take the time to say goodbye.
As the funeral organiser, it’s easy to get overwhelmed and not take this chance, so whether it’s through prayer, reflection, or simply spending time with family and friends, make sure you mourn in your own way.
Coast Family Funerals
Planning a funeral can be a daunting process, but by considering these 12 things, you can help ensure that the funeral is a fitting tribute to your loved one.
Choosing the right funeral director can make a big difference to your stress levels throughout the grieving process. They can help with organising the particulars of the service, and will make the whole whole experience much simpler.
At Coast Family Funerals, we can direct burial and cremation services and help you with all the necessary preparations.
So if you’re planning a funeral, or know someone who might appreciate some advice, please don’t hesitate to get in touch.